The importance of dialogue

Posted on by November 26, 2009 by emelie.fagelstedt

by Emelie Fagelstedt

Saying that dialogue is necessary might not be a new idea, but truth be told no new ideas will ever be heard unless there is a working dialogue. The art of talking and listening to each other is something that we learn as children. Even so it seems that we forget how to talk to each other all too often.

Growing up I spent some years in the state of Connecticut. The American school system is much different from the one in Sweden, a lesson that I learnt very quickly. At the age of ten I learnt never to question a teacher and never to talk unless my hand was raised. If I was to break those simple guidelines I was punished with detention. Therefore I became a quiet, polite and uncertain individual who always thought twice before commenting on something the teachers said or did wrong. At times I came home crying because I thought that the teachers were being unfair and my mother always asked me: “Why didn’t you say anything?” My mother happens to be one of the most diplomatic people I’ve ever meet, not tolerating one bit of injustice. The problem was that I was afraid. I’d learnt to be afraid by the overhanging threat of getting detention. From 4^th grade to 7^th grade I learnt more facts in school than I ever have again in my life. The problem is that it was just facts that I learnt, never to think for myself or to be critical. Without a working dialogue in school there was no need to share your own thoughts, all you had to do was to show the teachers that you knew all the facts about American history, fractions and the solar system. When it came to our own ideas, the teachers had no time nor interest in listening.

When my family returned to Sweden I thought that things would be better, the students would be able to talk to the teachers. Unfortunately I was proven wrong pretty quickly. Well the students did talk, a lot, but not really to the teachers but to each other, during classes, often interrupting the lectures. In high school in Sweden I would like to say that I learnt nothing. While the students in my school in the states had too much respect for the teachers, my Swedish classmates had none what so ever.

Collage proved to be better, and I learned to talk and listen to my classmates and to the teachers. Today I’m a student at the institution of journalism, media and communication at the University of Stockholm. You would think that an institution which partly focuses on communication would be a prime example for a place with a working dialogue. The funny thing is that it’s not at all times. Today a big conflict erupted in my class because we as students cannot communicate with each other, with the teacher or with the school board. And all of a sudden I’m back at the same place where I was in Connecticut and I hardly don’t dare speak my mind because I’m afraid that everything I say will be misinterpreted and used against me. This is a temporary feeling, which I might just have this day, but the feeling is frightening.

I thought everything would get better the older I got. But as simple as the lesson of dialogue is, it is very hard to live up to. Therefore my first idea, which isn’t a new idea but nonetheless an important one, is that we all strive for a working dialogue. That is the first step, according to me, if we want to change the world and make it a better place for everyone.